My friend Tom passed away on February 19, 2010. He was hit by a car while riding his bike to a party. He was only 19 years old.

I didn't find out until much later though, on March 12. I had been trying to call him on his cell phone for 3 weeks and it kept going to his voicemail. At first I wasn't too concerned because he had a rough home life and he would float around and stay at different friends' houses. Sometimes he would forget his phone somewhere or the battery would die, so at first I thought that was what happened. But as more time went on, I started to get worried. I decided that if I didn't hear from him by a certain day, I was going to look for him. One night I decided to check his MySpace page to see when he last logged in or to see if anyone else was asking about him. Then I saw that someone in his friends list had posted his picture, with a caption saying "RIP Tom" and the day he passed away. THAT was how I found out. It was the most horrible feeling I ever had. The whole time I was trying to call him, he was already gone.

Fortunately, I kind of knew one of Tom's other friends. I called him when I found out what happened, and we've been friends ever since then. I've been hanging out with Tom's friends for the past several months. I've also gotten to know some his family. That has helped somewhat, because I feel like I've been able to re-connect with Tom in a way. I don't know how I would have been able to handle it if I couldn't talk to someone else who knew him.

Although I hadn't been friends with Tom for very long, we got to be really close. I knew him as an acquaintance for about a year, but I was only friends with him for about 4 or 5 months. But during that time, we got to be very close. We were hanging out all the time. I have a lot of hobbies (computer programming, photography, astronomy) and I was even starting to get him into some of them and teaching him new things. He was one of my best friends. Really, he was like a brother to me. I didn't realize how good of a friend he was until he was gone.

I do have problems with depression already. Tom actually tried to help me with that. He was one of the very few people I could talk to when I was feeling down.

It has gotten a little easier in the past several months. But all of a sudden lately I've been feeling really down. I miss him a lot right now. Right about now last year is when we became friends. Lately, I've been wanting to call him all the time but I know he will never answer his phone again.

This is the hardest thing I've ever gone through. The only thing I could imagine that would be worse is if someone in my family died.

I'm sorry this so long. But I guess my question is whether it's normal to still be grieving for a friend after 8 months. (I found out what happened on March 12, 2010). I don't know if it's because I don't really have that many close friends. Or maybe the way he died, or how I found out. I know his other friends still miss him and once in a while they do talk about him. But sometimes I feel like everyone else has kind of moved on, and sometimes I still feel almost as bad as the day I found out. Tom was just at my house the day he died. And I didn't know that was going to be the last time I would ever talk to him. (At least in this world).

Is this normal, or am I really slipping into a depression or something??