Everyday I feel so depressed at school and home (mostly at school). I sit with my only friend but he drives me insane...constantly saying please everytime he doesn't get what he wants (he's autistic). Ever since my father passed away in 2006 I haven't been the same. I used to have the best time with my dad but now my life is so boring. I'm too shy to make new friends and people think I'm weird because I rarely ever talk. I consider myself a loner because this "friend" of mine isn't truly a REAL friend (he treats me like dirt everyday and uses me). Well school really has me down because I'm just scared of what's gonna come: Will people make fun of me? Will something go wrong? At home go on the computer for a long time and just can't get off so of course I'm doing bad in school because I can't get off computer to do homework. I'm bad at EVERYTHING. I would've killed myself already if it wasn't for music. Listening to any music makes me feel good. I've committed suicide before but all times I tried I failed (I wouldn't do anything that would hurt TOO much because I'm a coward, lol). I just wish I could go back to elementary school times when I actually had friends and everything was so easy. So I just want to know how I can turn my life around. BTW, I'm too scared to tell anyone in real life about my problems. Oh and I'm 15.