...[I'm in Highschool]? Highschool has been horrible for me. I have very few friends, and I'm terribly depressed. I don't have a good physique, and I'm certainly not popular. I can't sleep at night, and I never have energy. Yet at the same time, I can never seem to have an appetite strong enough to want to eat, if not being repulsed by the smell of food altogether. (I'm not anorexic and have no desire to be) My grades are less than desirable.

I've always had trouble talking to people and making new friends. I'm extremely shy, and I freeze up when trying to keep a steady conversation going, through fear of being judged and/or fear of rejection. For the same reason, I'm also single. I've tried medications, though none seem to work for me, and the thought of using antidepressants scares me. (Which, I did try one, called Lexapro, but it made me incredibly sick two hours after taking it) Suicidal thoughts are common. I'm always physically exsausted, but never actually able to sleep. Fatigue is as far as it goes, I never actually get "Sleepy". (At least, not until like 5 in the morning for some reason, after having been in bed with the room pitch black for hours on end)

I'm not sure what I want to do when I get out of highschool (Though I am sure I want to go to college, I'm not sure when and to which one), nor am I positive about what I want to be. (My job)


Can anyone make anything of this, or offer any advice? I'm pretty desperate for answers by this point, because I feel like I've got very few options left to take.