right after masterbating on my own? Okay, well a few years ago I had intercourse with a guy, at one point we tried a new position that I didn't like and it hurt me a lot, even after him knowing he didn't try to stop he kept saying do it, your fine etc..., he was also holding me down with a lot of pressure and I kept saying no, stop but he wouldn't stop so finally I pushed him away from me with a lot of pressure and that got him to realize to stop, after that moment we kept going until he ejaculated, I wanted to stop before he ejaculated but I was so scared of any sudden attacks or moves so I went with the flow. After our intercourse I felt like I was being raped or sexually abused, I left and I started to get so emotional I started to cry. Now sometimes when I masturbate solo I sometimes tend to get very depressed and I tend to cry right after which makes me not want to masturbate because there is no enjoyment. I told this to a friend and they said it's because I've been sexual abused. Do you think this type of emotion is coming from that incident? Was I sexually abused or raped? I need some opinions. Thanks!