On the occasion of the
birth of her third child, we at Defamer would like to offer an apology to
Julia Roberts, for we've been so consumed with one-time dabbler in biological reproduction
Angelina Jolie's every orphan-collecting whim that we've allowed ourselves to fall tragically out of touch with the Most Powerful Womb in Hollywood, forgetting that Roberts was even pregnant. This oversight on our part is especially embarrassing, as Roberts, unlike Jolie, has never publicly commented on the
overprivileged blobbiness of her "real" children or used the press to work through
any complicated feelings about the difficult decision to choose her empty uterus over crowded Third World orphanages, a noble commitment to privacy that deserves far more media attention than it currently receives. We promise to do better with the next pregnancy, assiduously tracking it with our finest gigantic red arrows from the earliest
Us Weekly baby-bump to eventual exclusive
People announcement of its healthy birth weight.
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