Thread: What role do I want my bisexual third wheel to play in my life?

Listen up, folks, because this may get confusing. I was raped 4 years ago and am now engaged to a greta man, a man who has helped me a lot. I'm bisexual and right after my rape a woman comforted me a lot. I have an Intense fear of sex with men, so my fiancee and I gave this a lot of thought and thought that being with a girl again might help me with that.

During the process of looking for a girl I fell in love with my best friend. I told her that last night and she was shocked, but not mad. she just said she needed some time to think. She also asked me what role she would play in my life, what role I want her to play in my life, and me in hers.

I'm a bit confused, because the more I think about it...the more I can't think of any specific roles. Anyone want to explain some options to me?
My fiancee knows and he thinks that he'd rather have it be her than anyone else. He doesn't have a problem with it.

And people, he in no way ever (ever!) wants to take opart in a three way. It would rip him apart.

And I would also really appreciate it if people took this seriously instead of suggesting that she becomes my sex slave.
ThatS' the thing. I think i may have truly fallen in love with her. I'm not planning on having it be all about sex and sex only.

the three of you need to figure out how your individual and communal relationships will work out.

will you and she be 'friends with benefits'? will the two of you exclude your fiance'? or will you two include him? can he be with her and NOT you? does she have a significant other, and will you be included in their relationship?

if she's going to be your booty-call and yours only, all three of you need to know and agree to that. if she's gonna be shared between you and your guy, all three of you need to know and agree to that. if all he gets to do is watch you two be together, all three of you need to know and agree to that.

ummmm okay so you i think you should pay ur best friend in link to dance and b ur sex slave

thats a good role

Best friend with benefits? You two like spending time together, so maybe she could be your girlfriend for awhile, go out to diners and such...

Ask her what part SHE would want, the only way you'll work this out is between the two of you.

Does your fiance know you love her? I think you should tell him before you start thinking too far into the future. At least that way you can know what his role in this will be.

You and your fiance need to sit down and set guidelines and boundaries to your relationship in regards to this outside woman. Having a secondary partner is never easy, and it can cause a lot of hurt feelings and jealousy if he feels you're giving her more priority than him. You need to figure out what your female friend wants and needs from you, what you want and need from her, what your husband wants and needs from you, and how to work it all together amicable.

It's not easy. It's actually ridiculously difficult, and a lot of times it all goes down in flames. If it's important to you, however, then you need to decide if it's worth the risks. Best of luck to you and your partners.

Edit:
Nighthawk:
You're on an LGBT themed board, what did you expect to be hearing about? Heterosexuals??