Thread: Sexuality/ Father issues...please HELP!?

wow ive been going through something very much similar to your situation. Well your venting and that's good.. An treat yourself to something.. I'm unsure what to say about the dad situation because I'm going through the same thing.. email me if u need someone to relate to/talk to/etc..

im 15. im gay. now i dont need any ignorant closeminded judgment. ive talked to people online and thought ALOT to my self about this, and came to this.

my father never showed me platonic love, so ive never thought of a father in the "normal" way as i should with family. no closeness. and growing up i HAD to find ways, unconciously, to get close to him..because he is my father.

so, yes, sexuality is a way to get close, and i began having sexual attractions to my father. i feel too much intense disgust and shame now that im 15.

i kno we grow into our sexuality from when were a baby. and at avery young age i thought of my dad in this way.

ive grown and matured and LEARNED alot. for the past couple years ive been having these feelings. masturbation, etc..but i DO NOT WANT THESE FEELINGS..


aside from the sexuality, i dont have good feelings towards him. hatred, anger, disgust, etcetc. hes very negative.

i put these thoughts beside in the back of my mind for a while.

*deep breath* THEN, i just recently came out to my therapist (first person) and said i was gay and discussed it. after the last session, THIS area began burning in my mind

omg i cant tell you how hard this would be to say to another person.

im really upset and distress. you cant imagine

HELP!

Take it easy buddy, nobody is perfect. Be glad for the fact that its all in your mind and you havent experienced none of this in reality. You are completely capable of overcoming this. Just because we may have irrational thought at times doesnt mean were crazy, messed up, perverted etc. were just human. You must focus on progress and lay off the negative aspects of your life. Best of luck!

you can believe me or think i'm lying but when i say this it's the truth. you have just summed up my entire life right there. i couldn't care less about my dad. he pisses me off so much and couldn't care less if he hits me or tries to be my friend. i don't like him. also it's alright to have the feelings you have. liking men, hating your dad. i do all of the above. as bad as you think your life is my life's much worse. problems in my family always arguing with my mother. it sucks i know but it's alright to be gay. accept yourself for who you are and love your self

I am so sorry you have to go through this! I can't imagine what you are going through AT ALL. Try talking with your therapist about the feelings about your father. I bet he/she could help the best.

Remember that it isn't your fault at all!
I'm so sorry I can't help, but if you need someone to talk to:
myspace.com/shelby_denham
OR [email protected]

Years ago when I was in college, THIS relationship with father was what was thought caused guys to be gay. For some reason, there's a lot of gay kids who have had this relationship with their father - unfeeling - unhelpful - unhealthy...

It's such a bummer. In these enlightened times we now think that guys are born gay - it's in their genes or whatever. And yet your experience where father is concerned is very troubled.

What I wish for you is that you could find a man - father's age - who you could develop a non-sexual relationship with - somebody who could be a real father for you for even a few months. And perhaps some of these feelings could be put to rest. Your own father had troubles and those cut him off from you - and he probably feels horrible about that too.

The problem with a relationship like you describe with your father is that it leaves you emotionally hanging - there's no closure - there's no maturity in it. That leaves you a little boy yet - and you have growing yet to do....