to avoid any arguing , help? So I am more open minded and try to put myself in other peoples shoes , today while talking to my brother and husband they had some awful and mean stuff to say about gays it hurts me a lot because they know a good friend of mine is gay and they were just being cruel towards him ( he wasn't there) I fight the urge of arguing with them , I have children I am raising and they are starting to use the word gay as an insult , I am not stand there and say that Agree with everything gay but I because of my friend I am doing my best to understand and not judge is not like I am perfect but being heartless is not one of them , how can I handle this situation ? I don't want my kids to have those same toughts and how do I deal with my bro and hubby ? thanks.