trailblazer1225

When I see my female friends and the wonderful personalities they have. beautiful smiles. And I wish I could be attracted to them. I wish with all my heart. I love the female body. It's so much more attractive and beautiful than the male body. But too bad I am not attracted. goddamn it. I hate being attracted to males. I hate it. Everytime I see/ hang out with straight friends. I envy them like crazy. The open happiness they can have. How they can hang out with males without crushing on them or having sexual tension. How they can flirt with females and actually call it flirting. I hate liking guys. I hate it. And please do not tell me to accept myself and get a boyfriend. There's no future in that in my country. I am just goddamn lonely. The other gay people I know are all depressed people too. When we hang out, we just have this innate feeling that such relationships really aren't going anywhere. We all want to get married with a girl, fall in love with girls. We all have that wish.
How???