Well I hope I am in the right place, I really need help and advice.
I am a 27yr old male.
I am questioning my sexuality, for the 2nd time in my life.
I am in a relationship with a girl who I have been with for 5 yrs, and everything was fine between us until this hit me.
I am obsessed that I am gay, a few times in my life I have *******ated to gay porn, and had gay fantasys but it stopped there. They were just fantasys I never would have acted on them or thought seriously about them.
When I was young I had no gay desires, I did not fancy my male friends or feel sexually attracted to them. I had loads of crushes on girls, I *******ated to lesbian porn (a lot) when I was younger as it always without fail got me off.
I have had two sexual relationships with girls in my life, both of which I had no trouble getting it up or anything.
The girl I am with now I love to and I do (or used too) find her incredibly attractive and sexy. But recently I cant make love to her because I think I am gay. I never went around on the street activly looking at guys thinking they were attractive, I was always by my own natural instincts checking out women.
I have been drunk on loads of occasions and not once did I feel compelled to get with a guy or try it out. I had a male friend who is gay, I was never interested in his life style or what he got up too. He used to go into graphical detail aswell and it never turned me on.
I had a similar worry four years ago lasted some weeks but I managed (god knows how I did it) to get rid of it and I was back to my normal self.
But this bout of aniexty or worry is lasting longer and is more powerful, as I am no longer getting aroused by women or lesbo porn or my gf (well I have experimented with porn and it takes me now ages to getit up, sorry about the graphic nature). And whenever I think of men and gay porn I get that 'tingling' sensation on my penis like its going to become erect.
I can't understand have I just become gay? overnight?, me and my gf were trying for a baby recently I had no probs with the sex and I was enjoying it very much, but one day she was giving me oral and an image of a man giving me oral popped into my Head
and I ejaculated. I was freaked out, bearing in mind its the only time I had a sexual gay fantasy while with my girlfriend.
So I am at a loss and confused terribly, I love my gf dearly I would love anything to have a great sex life again like before this happend, but I feel its impossible for me to get aroused now due to the stress.
So am I HOCD or really gay, what do you people think?
I have nothing against homosexuals nor do I have any interest to go and find a man to be with, I love my girlfiend very much, but this stress is unbearable so much to the point I now keep sobbing at work in the male toilets.
I also now am trying not to look at guys or gay porn incase I find it attractive, where as about month ago I was not interested in the slightest.
Thanks for taking the time to read this long post.
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