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Passing moments - Love to hear your thoughts and suggestions?
A few changes here and there , here is an updated version :
Blazing angels of distress , shouting lights that transgress reality,
Only remnants of better life forever lost in memory fragments.
Neuron fireworks, lines of white snow , that isn't really,
More like ice , chills my brain so I float blindly.
Numb, no feeling , no pain , no world , no existence ,
Lost in this feeling of mutual contempt , eternal resistance.
An escape from my life , I chase it away all and everything in it.
All alone in the corner ,wearing off , my thoughts infinite no more,
I contemplate my grand exit, eternal silence is my goal , rest sounds so beautiful.
And who would suffer anyway , raise an eyebrow , even notice when i leave my bindle behind.
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In these passing moments , the time has stopped to a crawl, and I wonder how,
never more twisted view of the world have I ever seen than in these cold seconds.
Passing stories , and windows , looking into the people's inflated egos,
false sense of security , all materialistic no soul , only vanity they hold.
I despise them and their values , their lives one big lie , absent of life virtues .
I faintly smile , as I wait to greet the Lord , and rejoice in his heavenly exile .
Happiness at last I think , goodbye cruel world , last second I blink...
Does it flow well , what would you give it from 1 - 10 . Thanks again
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