gummybearz024

It was one of those silent moments, everything feels awkward... and worse, he's just staring at you, giving a puzzled look. I tried to shy away, but the sun allowed me to catch a glimpse of his eyes. They were gorgeous, filled with warmth and I adored them. I couldn't resist his hazel brown eyes, which was making things harder than I'd thought. So I bit my tongue, hoping the pain would block my thoughts. I took a deep breath and sighed. Then I tried to break the silence.
“I'm sorr–

I know I know it's really not that interesting T.T Ahh dont kill me o.o;;..
I was lazy so it's extra crappy now -.-" gee even better
But i'll fix some parts up later?!?!? ^^
And and and and please be honest
Is it gay/retarded.. in a way? o.o;;
And [I have no idea whaddsoever im going to make my story about ^^ sorta... at least. Im writing as I go, but I guess I know whadd my proglogue's gonna be about o.o;;... the rest unsure of for nowws ^^]
Wells thank yous
Oh waitts o.o;; Please give suggestions opinions and etc ^^ and you can re-edit if chu want
Thanks
[I think I used silence too much...]
Faustian
-Sigh- yeah I know >.<
I guess maybe i'll change everything o.o;; of it, wells maybe or I might continue ^^
Thanks for your honest opinion anyways?!?
Nicole
Actually now that I love at how I write I dislike my writing style compared to others >.<
Sonole
Blah >.< sorry T.T"...
Maserati
Thank youus ^^
Peach
o.o;; <- oops?
Im use to using emotions and plus they aren't that bad anyways
And yeah I may have sounded insecure but I dont wanna use that word o.o;;
Maybe not confident?
Wells iernos.. o.o;;
And thanks for telling me it's boring I think i'd really fix it up now ^^
And yeah thats not finished o.o;;
Oops.. did I forget to tell that... ROFL my badds ^^

Peach

Why would you write all that nonsense at the end. You sound insecure and paranoid. It's quite boring, but not awful. It's too short. I can't gauge the story based on that. Don't start it that way either, introduce us to the setting, story, and people before you have this emotional interchange between the two characters.

Don't add that nonsense at the end anymore, be confident about your writing if you want to be taken serious. And quit using emoticons, it makes you look juvenile.

Your writing isn't bad though, write more next time.

.Nicoleee

I love your writing style. It was not extra crappy, nor was it gay. You have wonderful descriptions.

MaSeRaTi.YeP

Well I liked it and I wanted to know what was gonna happen next! Plus I love me some hazel eyes gurl keep up the good work!

Tyler

it was good now please help me with mine
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=An7XKcm9_ioBfoTmuXJHb_rsy6IX;_ylv=3?qid =20090707211530AACfKGu

sonole 05

it's okay......wondering what I am reading....maybe an add in to character's so I know point of view better.