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Blackberry Bold has all the features you listed, and specifically the flash. It has a pretty good camera, or at least for a phone.
iPhone 3GS doesn't have the flash you want, but has everything else you need.
Responding to your list:
1. You will get used to the virtual keyboard on the iPhone GS, and it's actually not as bad as it turns out to be. Bold has a physical QWERTY keyboard, but the buttons are pretty small. Sometimes I double hit a key because of my big thumbs, but most of the time I get the job done.
2. When you mention Internet, I assume you are talking about the data plan and not the WiFi. I think both phones are fairly equal in that area, but the Bold can't Youtube yet. Otherwise things like Facebook shouldn't be a problem.
3. They both play music, but iPhone has a more developed program to run your music, since it was based off the iTouch. Quality wise? They sound quality are about the same.
4. They both have a 2.0 megapixel camera. As said earlier, the iPhone doesn't have flash.
I would prefer the iPhone over Blackberry simply because it is more versatile in the Application side and has a touchscreen for easy use. Plus I can sync it's Calendar and contacts with my Mac, so that's an extra plus.
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