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You don't need a cat, you need a goldfish.
Cats have claws, and for many good reasons too.
Declawing is not a humane option and just leads to other unwanted behaviours like biting and soiling the house.
Cats come with claws, and there is no 100% way to stop it since they do it for various reasons.
Cat would be the wrong pet for you, looking at how you prize that couch.
Get a dog or fish. No claws.
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