- Admin
- #1
SAN JOSE, Calif.—If a visitor to America unfamiliar with our ways and customs wanted to learn about this “Super Bowl” everyone’s always talking about, all they needed to do was show up at the SAP Center on Monday night …
…because they would’ve been given a media credential and the opportunity to ask Cam Newton and Peyton Manning the most inane questions imaginable.
The Super Bowl Media Day—this year rebranded as a primetime made-for-NFL-TV event—bears about as much resemblance to actual newsgathering and journalism as Taco Bell does to authentic Mexican food. It’s as predictable as a Law & Order episode, from the players’ rote answers—yes, they ARE excited for this weekend’s Big Game—to the “wacky” costumes:
…to the outrage among certain media members that these ruffians, these miscreants, these NONSERIOUS types have been allowed into the NFL’s hallowed halls:
For some players—talkative Panthers CB Josh Norman, for instance—60 minutes is about enough time for them to clear their throat. For others, accustomed to controlling press conferences and keeping them short and tight—a hallmark of the absent-this-year Patriots—the 60 minutes are an eternity, an agonizing crawl over the same broken ground over and over again.
The Broncos entered first, entering the arena via a catwalk a hundred feet above the arena floor, and then descending to the podiums and the crowd below. Emmanuel Sanders, Demaryius Thomas, DeMarcus Ware, and half a dozen others scattered in a semicircle around the floor. They all flanked Peyton Manning, whose entourage never dipped below a hundred eager questioners.
Manning doesn’t have a whole lot of foot speed any longer, but he had no problem eluding and stiff-arming any talk of HGH, retirement, or anything else other than Sunday’s game. But Manning, like everyone else, had to deal with his share of absurdity:
-Who’s your favorite Star Wars character?
-What are the three songs on the top of your playlist right now?
-Who would be the toughest Spongebob Squarepants character to cover?
-Which of your teammates would you like to be?
-How would you like to die? (Yes, really.)
The Broncos vacated their podium seats to the cheers of hundreds of orange-clad faithful, each of whom had paid $27.50 (!!!!) to watch players sit in chairs on the other side of the arena and answer questions that could only be heard on small headsets. The NFL, as always, is unstoppable.
The only boos of the evening came at the introduction of Cam Newton, and those seemed more good-natured than anything more sinister. Indeed, there were nearly as many 49er and Raider jerseys in the stands as anything teal or orange, and the loudest cheer of the evening came not from any current player, but from the emergence of Raider legend Marcus Allen.
The Panthers have drawn heat all season for their celebratory ways, mostly from teams and fans on the wrong end of the scoreboard, but their appearance Monday night was largely a drama-free affair. Thomas Davis discussed the 12 screws in his arm; Ryan Kalil talked of his love for Boba Fett; Jonathan Stewart held forth on the various delicious smells he can smell when in the Panthers’ huddle. (Don’t think too much about that one.)
Newton, meanwhile, was his usual charming self, turning a question about him being the “Lebron of quarterbacks” on the questioner: “Why can’t Lebron be the Cam Newton of power forwards?” His smile never wavered, and neither did the crowd around him.
After another 60 minutes, it was over for everyone except Norman, who kept right on talking as if he was getting paid by the word. Kelvin Benjamin, the Panthers receiver whose injury supposedly foretold doom for the team this year, walked over to a section of fans and began signing everything in sight and taking phones to pose for selfies:
Podcast: What will Peyton Manning do next year?:
____
Jay Busbee is a writer for Yahoo Sports and the author of EARNHARDT NATION. Contact him at [email protected] or find him on Twitter or on Facebook.
…because they would’ve been given a media credential and the opportunity to ask Cam Newton and Peyton Manning the most inane questions imaginable.
The Super Bowl Media Day—this year rebranded as a primetime made-for-NFL-TV event—bears about as much resemblance to actual newsgathering and journalism as Taco Bell does to authentic Mexican food. It’s as predictable as a Law & Order episode, from the players’ rote answers—yes, they ARE excited for this weekend’s Big Game—to the “wacky” costumes:
…to the outrage among certain media members that these ruffians, these miscreants, these NONSERIOUS types have been allowed into the NFL’s hallowed halls:
First media question to Peyton from some idiot in a costume. NFL credentials way too many morons
— Mike Chappell (@mchappell51) February 2, 2016
But those are slow-moving targets. Let’s dig a little deeper into this year’s Opening Night. As befits 21[SUP]st[/SUP]-century American sports, the lowly press conference is, on this night, theater and spectacle, with pulsing intro music, a house band, a highly defined hierarchy (stars get podiums, second-tier players have to mingle with the unwashed media), and a countdown clock: 60 minutes and out.— Mike Chappell (@mchappell51) February 2, 2016
For some players—talkative Panthers CB Josh Norman, for instance—60 minutes is about enough time for them to clear their throat. For others, accustomed to controlling press conferences and keeping them short and tight—a hallmark of the absent-this-year Patriots—the 60 minutes are an eternity, an agonizing crawl over the same broken ground over and over again.
The Broncos entered first, entering the arena via a catwalk a hundred feet above the arena floor, and then descending to the podiums and the crowd below. Emmanuel Sanders, Demaryius Thomas, DeMarcus Ware, and half a dozen others scattered in a semicircle around the floor. They all flanked Peyton Manning, whose entourage never dipped below a hundred eager questioners.
Manning doesn’t have a whole lot of foot speed any longer, but he had no problem eluding and stiff-arming any talk of HGH, retirement, or anything else other than Sunday’s game. But Manning, like everyone else, had to deal with his share of absurdity:
Peyton Manning answering tough questions: Do you know who Taylor Swift is dating? Now taking Qs from a puppet #SB50 pic.twitter.com/wgpOq2RXEa
— Todd Johnson (@SFBizTodd) February 2, 2016
This is the trick about Media Day: most players don’t mind it overmuch, because they can count on a lot of easy “what’s your favorite food?” questions, and that leads to a relaxed environment. That, in turn, leads to frustrated journalists, who don’t often get the players in such a relaxed mood, but can’t ask questions because they’re getting crowded out by filibustering puppets. It’s a Gordian knot that most questioners don’t even bother to unravel, instead pushing forward with questions like these actual ones:— Todd Johnson (@SFBizTodd) February 2, 2016
-Who’s your favorite Star Wars character?
-What are the three songs on the top of your playlist right now?
-Who would be the toughest Spongebob Squarepants character to cover?
-Which of your teammates would you like to be?
-How would you like to die? (Yes, really.)
The Broncos vacated their podium seats to the cheers of hundreds of orange-clad faithful, each of whom had paid $27.50 (!!!!) to watch players sit in chairs on the other side of the arena and answer questions that could only be heard on small headsets. The NFL, as always, is unstoppable.
The only boos of the evening came at the introduction of Cam Newton, and those seemed more good-natured than anything more sinister. Indeed, there were nearly as many 49er and Raider jerseys in the stands as anything teal or orange, and the loudest cheer of the evening came not from any current player, but from the emergence of Raider legend Marcus Allen.
The Panthers have drawn heat all season for their celebratory ways, mostly from teams and fans on the wrong end of the scoreboard, but their appearance Monday night was largely a drama-free affair. Thomas Davis discussed the 12 screws in his arm; Ryan Kalil talked of his love for Boba Fett; Jonathan Stewart held forth on the various delicious smells he can smell when in the Panthers’ huddle. (Don’t think too much about that one.)
Newton, meanwhile, was his usual charming self, turning a question about him being the “Lebron of quarterbacks” on the questioner: “Why can’t Lebron be the Cam Newton of power forwards?” His smile never wavered, and neither did the crowd around him.
After another 60 minutes, it was over for everyone except Norman, who kept right on talking as if he was getting paid by the word. Kelvin Benjamin, the Panthers receiver whose injury supposedly foretold doom for the team this year, walked over to a section of fans and began signing everything in sight and taking phones to pose for selfies:
Kelvin Benjamin was one of the few players to get up close with the fans. pic.twitter.com/MzsT9mDWqK
— Jay Busbee (@jaybusbee) February 2, 2016
As the last of the Panthers filed out of the arena, the house band launched into “We Built This City.” It was a singularly appropriate anthem: the cheesiest song in American music history as a backdrop to the cheesiest spectacle in American sports. There’s still nearly a week to go until the actual game, but nothing’s going to top this night for scripted weirdness.— Jay Busbee (@jaybusbee) February 2, 2016
Podcast: What will Peyton Manning do next year?:
____
Jay Busbee is a writer for Yahoo Sports and the author of EARNHARDT NATION. Contact him at [email protected] or find him on Twitter or on Facebook.