To start off, I'm only thirteen. But please don't tell me things like "you're young, give it time. You don't need to know now", because I've tried to just ignore it, but I can't. I NEED to know. I feel so vacant inside not knowing my sexual orientation... Like a peice of me is lost, like that puzzle piece you simply cannot find anywhere, you know?
I'm not sure if it's a phase...
Anyway, i've been attracted to women for as long As I can remember. At first I thought I was going through that "curious phase" that every little kid goes through, but that phase lasted for YEARS...
I get nervous around everyone, whether I'm attracted to them or not, so I get butterflies in my stomach all the time, but there's always been something about girls I really liked. Certain girls made me feel alive and awake, made my heart beat faster and made me laugh a little more. I've never felt like that around ANY guys before, but I have around so many girls.
I love everything about attractive females. I love their soft lips and smooth skin. Of course, I love the boobs (but who doesn't?). I love the way they talk and move, and how small and fragile they are. I just want to hold them and kiss them (specifically a girl in my class), I want to tell her how angelic and beautiful she is.
With guys, kissing them or having sex with them just seems ridiculous and a bit repulsing... Like it would be awkward and wouldn't feel right. But with girls, it's always been the complete opposite, ever since I was younger. Whenever I imagined myself kissing someone or cuddling them, it was always with a girl.
I've had sexual dreams about girls before, but never about a guy, and when I masturbate, I always think about girls, or watch lesbian porn. I've tried thinking about guys before and watching gay or straight porn, but I just couldn't.
So many guys who I said I liked asked me out, and I immediately say no, but when the first girl did, I said yes and was the happiest I had ever been. I barely even knew her.
I'm not sure if it's a phase...
Anyway, i've been attracted to women for as long As I can remember. At first I thought I was going through that "curious phase" that every little kid goes through, but that phase lasted for YEARS...
I get nervous around everyone, whether I'm attracted to them or not, so I get butterflies in my stomach all the time, but there's always been something about girls I really liked. Certain girls made me feel alive and awake, made my heart beat faster and made me laugh a little more. I've never felt like that around ANY guys before, but I have around so many girls.
I love everything about attractive females. I love their soft lips and smooth skin. Of course, I love the boobs (but who doesn't?). I love the way they talk and move, and how small and fragile they are. I just want to hold them and kiss them (specifically a girl in my class), I want to tell her how angelic and beautiful she is.
With guys, kissing them or having sex with them just seems ridiculous and a bit repulsing... Like it would be awkward and wouldn't feel right. But with girls, it's always been the complete opposite, ever since I was younger. Whenever I imagined myself kissing someone or cuddling them, it was always with a girl.
I've had sexual dreams about girls before, but never about a guy, and when I masturbate, I always think about girls, or watch lesbian porn. I've tried thinking about guys before and watching gay or straight porn, but I just couldn't.
So many guys who I said I liked asked me out, and I immediately say no, but when the first girl did, I said yes and was the happiest I had ever been. I barely even knew her.