How to deal with my dog dying?

[GeauxlTigerst]

I had to get my dog put down. A year ago she had a lump show up near her female region. I took her to the vet as soon as i noticed it. The vet told me i would need to put her to sleep because it would not be able to be removed and it would kill her. Other then the tumor she seemed fine and I couldn't kill her so i took her home and gave her pain medicine daily and just prayed for her to get better, but she didn't she just got worse. Tuesday night her tumor busted and she started bleeding. I rushed her to the pet ER, they couldn't stop the bleeding and i had to put her to sleep. My heart is bleeding with grief and guilt. This last year has been so hard watching her die and staying in denial about her fate. And i feel like i made all the wrong choices and prolonged her suffering. I have had her for 14 years. She was my best friend. I got her when i was 11 years old and when my mom kicked me out at 16 i took her with me and she has been with me through everything and i don't know how to say goodbye. I feel like i let her down. I should have been strong enough to say goodbye a year ago so she didn't have to suffer. I am literally just falling apart. The people in my keep telling me she was just a dog and i need to get past it. She was so more then just a dog. She was there when no one else was. When i had days i thought about giving up she would sit in my lap and lick my tears away. I don't really know if this post is appropriate or what i even want anyone to say. I just want someone to understand. To tell me I'm not crazy for hurting this much over a dog.