How am I going to sum this up in 1000 words? My son will be 4 in September. My husband and I are at are wits end. Since he was born, he has been so fussy and impatient about EVERYTHING. Just different stages. If he can't get a toy to work properly...he throws it across the room. If you tell him no, he is on the floor throwing a fit. He hates doing anything on his own that isn't fun...big example:dressing himself or finding a lost toy. It turns into a big ordeal. And like I said, this has all been since a very young age. Not something sudden. Discipline doesn't seem to work AT ALL, just makes it more chaotic and the he could care less about the reward system. I will have to add an edit to give an example of this.
We have been trying to get him to dress himself for probably 1.5 years now! He throws a crying fit all the way through it. Some days, we offer a reward like a cookie. Nope. Other days, we tell him 20 times til we are late to work and do it ourselves. Other days, we wind up yelling and his screaming gets worse and we feel like crap for it being that big of a deal! Getting dressed should not be a problem like this. But for him...it turns into a war. It's not just this. If you tell him no more of something, he's throwing a tantrum. If a toy won't work for him, he screams and throws it. And all of this, he gets sent out of the room for timeout. The timeout turns into him either screaming from down the hall, or coming back every 2 minutes saying "i'll be nice now" "you are still in timeout" WAAAAA! "ok now you are timeout longer for screaming again. So, spankings, timeout, rewards, talking to him calmly at face level, or yelling at him from above. No difference. Whats left?
Let me also add that he is VERY, VERY smart. He started walking and talking at a very young age. He is extremely well co-ordinated in sports and loves them all. It amazes us and strangers how his aim is with baseball, basketball..you name it. His level of logic seems above his age; He is very quick, analytical, and intuitive. Yet he seems lazy with some of the simplest things because he doesnt want to do certain things by himself. (Like try to button his pants or wipe his butt) For a while, I thought he might have a form of autism because of his fits. But this angry behavior HAS been since he was born. When he was a infant, he would cry all the time. When he does do something by himself, I show him excitedly how proud I am of him. And i like his big smile when accomplishes it. But it doesn't mean he'll do it again.
Gosh, I am adding a lot of edits. But here's another one for an answer I read. He has been in daycare since he was 6 weeks old. We realize he doesn't get one on one attention during the day. So when he and my 5 year old get home everyday, we are attached to them until bed time. Playing, talking, etc. But he seems to throw a fit every evening about something. If he doesn't, its a rare and nice evening. About the pop on the butt and sending him to his room. That happened this morning. WOULD NOT get dressed. Throwing a fit...got sent to his room so he could focus on it by himself. Instead he was pounding on the door with louder screaming. I turned on the radio to tune him out. Didn't work. Could still hear kicking and screaming at his door. My stress level climaxed at that point, sick of being late to work because of this morning behavior, went in there popped his butt, and angrily got him dressed. We try sweet talking him into things, and harshly talking him into things.
momma chick 2-1...sounds a lot like our routine. I am a very scheduled person. And I do believe we have consistency, I guess it'll just take a little longer with him. Our 5 year old girl is laid back and has never been this hard to teach. I do feel like the bad guy all the time, but I think he makes us feel worse than it really is. Thanks for the encouragement.
no dyspraxia wouldn't make sense with his ability in sports and his conversations he has with us.
I was reading about the sensory processing disorder and wanted to add something interesting. He is such a strange eater. He won't eat things that kids love like: maccaroni, any type of potato including french fries now, chicken unless its popcorn balls, (who doesnt like mcdonalds chicken nuggets? him). He will gag if I make him eat something he doesnt want to. I am a fan of sitting there til you finish, or you aren't getting anything else to eat. But he makes me want to cry when he gags and I give in.
All the tags must be cut off his clothes. The line on his socks must be lined up perfect on top of his toes. He throws a fit about how his pants "fit" when they look fine to me. He is an interesting little boy!
We have been trying to get him to dress himself for probably 1.5 years now! He throws a crying fit all the way through it. Some days, we offer a reward like a cookie. Nope. Other days, we tell him 20 times til we are late to work and do it ourselves. Other days, we wind up yelling and his screaming gets worse and we feel like crap for it being that big of a deal! Getting dressed should not be a problem like this. But for him...it turns into a war. It's not just this. If you tell him no more of something, he's throwing a tantrum. If a toy won't work for him, he screams and throws it. And all of this, he gets sent out of the room for timeout. The timeout turns into him either screaming from down the hall, or coming back every 2 minutes saying "i'll be nice now" "you are still in timeout" WAAAAA! "ok now you are timeout longer for screaming again. So, spankings, timeout, rewards, talking to him calmly at face level, or yelling at him from above. No difference. Whats left?
Let me also add that he is VERY, VERY smart. He started walking and talking at a very young age. He is extremely well co-ordinated in sports and loves them all. It amazes us and strangers how his aim is with baseball, basketball..you name it. His level of logic seems above his age; He is very quick, analytical, and intuitive. Yet he seems lazy with some of the simplest things because he doesnt want to do certain things by himself. (Like try to button his pants or wipe his butt) For a while, I thought he might have a form of autism because of his fits. But this angry behavior HAS been since he was born. When he was a infant, he would cry all the time. When he does do something by himself, I show him excitedly how proud I am of him. And i like his big smile when accomplishes it. But it doesn't mean he'll do it again.
Gosh, I am adding a lot of edits. But here's another one for an answer I read. He has been in daycare since he was 6 weeks old. We realize he doesn't get one on one attention during the day. So when he and my 5 year old get home everyday, we are attached to them until bed time. Playing, talking, etc. But he seems to throw a fit every evening about something. If he doesn't, its a rare and nice evening. About the pop on the butt and sending him to his room. That happened this morning. WOULD NOT get dressed. Throwing a fit...got sent to his room so he could focus on it by himself. Instead he was pounding on the door with louder screaming. I turned on the radio to tune him out. Didn't work. Could still hear kicking and screaming at his door. My stress level climaxed at that point, sick of being late to work because of this morning behavior, went in there popped his butt, and angrily got him dressed. We try sweet talking him into things, and harshly talking him into things.
momma chick 2-1...sounds a lot like our routine. I am a very scheduled person. And I do believe we have consistency, I guess it'll just take a little longer with him. Our 5 year old girl is laid back and has never been this hard to teach. I do feel like the bad guy all the time, but I think he makes us feel worse than it really is. Thanks for the encouragement.
no dyspraxia wouldn't make sense with his ability in sports and his conversations he has with us.
I was reading about the sensory processing disorder and wanted to add something interesting. He is such a strange eater. He won't eat things that kids love like: maccaroni, any type of potato including french fries now, chicken unless its popcorn balls, (who doesnt like mcdonalds chicken nuggets? him). He will gag if I make him eat something he doesnt want to. I am a fan of sitting there til you finish, or you aren't getting anything else to eat. But he makes me want to cry when he gags and I give in.
All the tags must be cut off his clothes. The line on his socks must be lined up perfect on top of his toes. He throws a fit about how his pants "fit" when they look fine to me. He is an interesting little boy!