JohnnyAppleSeed
New member
- Jul 15, 2008
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So, since I love writing poems, I decided to write friend one for her birthday. I have three questions: 1)Is it too wordy? 2)Would you find it odd getting this from a friend? 3) If you were the recipient, what would your first mental reaction be?
Lilies of white, plaited on emerald
blades of life. Hellenic pillars,
threaded through an oak canopy
of bare bouquettes: elevators of heat, sending
light and warmth. A flutter of soft
wings flapping in a breeze,and kissing sunbeams
with flickers of shadows.
A gentleness. A beauty, painted on
puffs of air, spun into wings of
stained glass. In lofty
strokes, she flew. Like Cherubim
or Seraphim, gracefully gliding on a
pool of affection, an angel
that the lilies fauned over.
They whistled a tune of love, and sang a
ballad of seven verses plus one:
"Blessed beauty, young butterfly,
an angel of the wind!
Dear Melissa, sweet butterfly,
your splendour from within!
Let loose in flight, sweet butterfly,
bring joy to hearts that sing!
And kiss our eyes, young butterfly,
with the beauty of a wing!"
And so they sang in unison, as a
choir of little men. Melodies and harmonies,
perfectly beaded on a string of poetry in
dance. Stanzas in a fluid motion: flowing, swirling,
bubbling in a flurry of ballet. A graceful
lover of dance, dear Melissa leapt in
flutters of wonder. Blade and blossom,
captured in awe, relished in Heaven's boon of
grace. A flutter of soft wings, cherished by the
lilies of white, plaited on emerald
blades of life.
EDIT: Spelled "bouquet" wrong. Whoops...lol
It's not the only thing she would be getting. I'm getting a gift too.
Buzbe: I wasn't going to actually read it to her, just give it to her. "t would give off romantic signals". Yea...I was thinking that it would sound that way and be odd. I couln't help it...DX
Lilies of white, plaited on emerald
blades of life. Hellenic pillars,
threaded through an oak canopy
of bare bouquettes: elevators of heat, sending
light and warmth. A flutter of soft
wings flapping in a breeze,and kissing sunbeams
with flickers of shadows.
A gentleness. A beauty, painted on
puffs of air, spun into wings of
stained glass. In lofty
strokes, she flew. Like Cherubim
or Seraphim, gracefully gliding on a
pool of affection, an angel
that the lilies fauned over.
They whistled a tune of love, and sang a
ballad of seven verses plus one:
"Blessed beauty, young butterfly,
an angel of the wind!
Dear Melissa, sweet butterfly,
your splendour from within!
Let loose in flight, sweet butterfly,
bring joy to hearts that sing!
And kiss our eyes, young butterfly,
with the beauty of a wing!"
And so they sang in unison, as a
choir of little men. Melodies and harmonies,
perfectly beaded on a string of poetry in
dance. Stanzas in a fluid motion: flowing, swirling,
bubbling in a flurry of ballet. A graceful
lover of dance, dear Melissa leapt in
flutters of wonder. Blade and blossom,
captured in awe, relished in Heaven's boon of
grace. A flutter of soft wings, cherished by the
lilies of white, plaited on emerald
blades of life.
EDIT: Spelled "bouquet" wrong. Whoops...lol
It's not the only thing she would be getting. I'm getting a gift too.
Buzbe: I wasn't going to actually read it to her, just give it to her. "t would give off romantic signals". Yea...I was thinking that it would sound that way and be odd. I couln't help it...DX
