I suggest uploading some samples of your writing to Wattpad.com or Figment.com
These are sites where writers can create a profile and get their work out there. Even if your pieces are short to begin with, you can get feedback from others writers.
Good luck and Happy writing!! :)
Some people may critique that first sample you gave (part one paragraph), but if you're going for teen fiction it's truly fine. This is the way teens talk and think, and I think kids will connect with a reak character who they can identify with. Good work there!
On the second, you were...
I think it depends on if you are making the clock its own character in the story. If so, a more creative name can be used. If not, something simpler would be best so the reader doesn't get too caught up in insignificant details.
Good luck!!