Clam chowder soup.
Enough food coloring to make it look like stomach juice and throw-up.
Dump into toilet if you absolutely can't find any other way to get out of going to school (before you waste $2 worth of soup and food coloring), then color it to your liking and go...
Downtown Toronto over here.
We have a decent jazz scene here, though I don't know much about it. My good friends are all in a jazz band, though not professionally they work part time and such at Weddings and some Trade Shows.
If you want to do it nicely i'd get two cans, and use Krylon brand spray paint. Might cost you about 17$ at Walmart.
edit: Get another can of Krylon for the green... follow the directions carefully and you will have a nicely painted (and ugly colored purple and green) bike. 21$
edit #2: If...
Out of random curiosity and to help me help others at work (a lot of the former, very little of the latter) I decided to try the level 3 maths diagnostic (I work in a Learn Direct centre getting people to level 2 in literacy and numeracy and the diagnostic tells us how good people are). I got...
It's the same with sexual misbehavior at work. If noone files an official complaint (via the official paperwork), it didn't happen and whoever did what rumors say he did cannot be fired.
I must say that the guys on that site were not very big, they seemed more cut than big. I am not sure that the link you provided did much to support your view. I think it actually supports your "opponents" view more. If these are the vegan "freaks", then it does seem to support the statement...