Invite a bunch of people to what they believe is a party, charge them 5 dollars at the door then after a short time scream cops. Everyone will scatter and the mess would be minimal.
Have you ever thought that it could be genuine praise?
Whatever it is, you need to let it go.
If I give you a glass of water will you find it heavy?
Does it become heavier if you hold it at arms length for an hour?
What about if you have to carry it around for a lifetime, does it become a...
You may wish to see how enforceable the contract is before going too far. From a labor point of view, you have committed to this first job by verbally accepting and by physically sighing it. Will you need to resign? You may wish to look at the contract language first.
Morally, I would recommend...
Oooh, interesting thing that proves that the Universe is not quite like normal GCSE geometry space.
In normal life stuff looks smaller from further away, the "angular diameter reduces with distance". Therefore you expect galaxies to appear smaller the further away they are, but the FRW metric...
I think the main problems would come in the initial switch over from "not naming" to "naming".
Once naming was the norm it would then become another part of the punishment and one of the measures designed to prevent the crimes happening in the first place (surely the best outcome all round?)...